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Thursday, March 09, 2006 * (82) how to survive bmt...

What do I know about bmt? Absolutely nothing!

Then Nyan, an ex-sergeant in BMTC, kindly offered some survival tips when he found out Ben was enlisting soon. First, Nyan's post had to clear the stringent requirements of the Board of Blog Censors before I copy and paste it in my blog. Well, he did tell me I could delete the vulgarities to make it kid-friendly, to protect the innocence (??) of today's teenagers! AND I must set a good example because I had been telling my kids (without much success) to refrain from spewing vuglarities in their blogs!

DISCLAIMER:
The language and content expressed in the post below does not reflect the owner of this blog aka ME. The responsibility for the language and content rests entirely with Nyan! Therefore, I have decided NOT to censor anything!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

How to Survive BMT. For Big Mama's Kid.

I know I shouldn't be blogging at this hour, I got so many damn reports to do. But I decided I should slacccckkkk. And write this post for Big Mama's Kid who's enlisting soon. I think.
How to survive BMT.
Hmmm.. Its been a long time since I thought about my BMT. BMT, its definitely a plus to be physically fit. But nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare one for the mental rigors of BMT. Maybe you were in uniformed group once, it helps you to tune into the regimentation alot more quickly and you will shave up those time you will spend learning about military drills.
hrmm.. Tips to survive BMT. I will try my best okay big mama. Its kinda late, I dun really know where to begin.

Things to do for enlistment.
1) Try to bring whatever they mention in the enlistment letter.
2) On the day of enlistment bring the dawg IC, exchange for 11B!
3) Bring the letter too please.
4) Do your shopping at Army Market a week before. It is not necessary to buy everything the army auntie says.
5) Start exercising. Run especially.
6) Play all the computer you can, you will not see it for at least two weeks
7) If you are religious, please do bring your bible, cross, buddha idol or tua pek kong idol. I'm serious, the kind of shit you get to see there. woo hoo. If you want I can tell you something spooky that just happened just last week in P. Tekong. call me.
8) Big mama, bring an umbrella, lotsa water, wear something comfortable when ya in P. Tekong for enlistment. I ensure you that the temperature in Pulau Tekong is one to two degrees hotter than mainland Singapore.
9) And try the nasi lemak at school 2 cookhouse. Rocks my socks!
10) Eat more of your mum's food. You will miss it.

Survive confinement period
1) Listen to what your sergeant says, when he says that he is your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your best friend and your worst nightmare, he really means it.
2) Be yourself, dun wayang. And be alert and responsive.
3) Make friends, Dun care where they come from. They may be some super chao ah beng, or a ex drug addict or that snobbish RJC fuck kid. Soon enough they will be your best pals. Maybe the best you ever had.
4) Keep your friends close, your buddy closer. Thats why you have a buddy system for. And when your sergeant asks you where the hell your buddy is you jolly well know. Otherwise....
5) Don't act smart, Listen, Speak when asked to. You are in the military, who cares about the 3G army. When your head looks like toilet scrub act like one. Talk too much, you know wat will happen.
6) When bathing, always check your 6. When your soap drops, look behind before bending down to pick it up. You Nvr know who is gay these days.
7) If possible at night, go anywhere with your buddy.Toilet especially...
8) Do not be surprised to find long hair under your pillow in the morning, even though everyone else is botak. It is a natural supernatural occurence. Dun bother.
9) Cleanilness is next to holiness. This is the rule of your bunk. Keep it clean, neat all the time, make sure your bunk mates do so too.
10) In P. Tekong, the idea of individualism is dead. You only have your buddy, your section, your platoon and your company. one for all, all for one. Your buddy fuck up, you fuck up, your section fuck up, you fuck up, you platoon fuck up, you lagi fuck up, your company fuck up, you big asss fuck up.
11) Punishment is part and parcel of being a chao recruit. Suck it up and move on. Everyone makes mistakes, and even if you dun, your sergeant will ensure you do so.
12) Don't be shy when fitting for your uniform, boots and equipment. you will be using them for the next 2 years. You fuck up now, your problem. Your sergeant may be your mother, but he will not be as nice your mother.
13) The super guai lan people screaming at you are called sergeants, the real nice people who talk to you v nicely and give you nice speeches are called officers. Then that v old silly man who once in awhile comes to tell you vulgar stories and jokes and give you extra is your sergeant major. And that very kao peh guy who you always hate is your platoon sergeant.
14) Vulgarities are part n parcel of army life. Learn some there, use them when necessary, come home keep it to yourself.
15) You will call your mum and dad and family for every day in the confinement period, but rmb to do so even after that period.

Equipment for enlistment
1) Alarm Clock, unless your son doesn't want to come home anytime soon.
2) Toiletries and 10 sets of underwear, lidat no need to wash so often, unless you those disgusting people who don't change underwear or change by flipping it the other side or just dun wear underwear. eeyerr
3) Buy the detergent soap, easier to wash your clothings with that. If you dun have time, you can actually wear your uniform and bathe yourself and wash your uniform at the same time. I always did that.
4) You can buy Frebreeze, clothing disinfectant. It rocks my socks. I used it to spray all my clothing and after using it, I only washed my uniform like once every two days instead. You can wear it with mud and still smell nice, mmmmm...
5) toothpaste is a very versatile toiletry. brush teeth, clean kiwi boot stain, clean cupboard, clean stain, if not you can put it on the dick of the person you hate the most in the platoon. If you want to chao keng, eat half a tube of toothpaste, then you will get fever and three day MC. Tried and tested.
6) Prickly Heat Powder. Rocks your socks. Natural Aircon for the sweaty fellow. Good to buy a huge one, good for the humid nights. and for a cheap thrill dump alot into your underwater and add water.
7) Mosquito repellent, use the army one. Green one. Alot of mosquito I swear.
8) Bring a lock, to lock your metal cupboard.
9) Discmans are allowed. Bring at risk. Absolutely no pirated/burned cds. ALL original!
10) Bring some tidbits and some money. Got canteen break. Tidbits help you make more friends.
11) Speckies bring your spec band, make a black plastic framed spec.
12) Handphone bring a lousy one and two batts. Only on when using, at nite.

That is all i can remember la. If Big mama's kid is enlisting to orion company in school 2. Give me a call. heh heh.

posted by ahkow at 2:14 AM 7 comments


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