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Sunday, April 30, 2006 * (97) the fine art of...

MULTI-TASKING began with the homemakers aka women. Men came into the picture only much much later. Yesterday, a self-assured young man aka Peter claimed he could multi-task.....

Some people (especially teenagers) do it often. Others do it when necessary and a few (especially males) choose where and when they plan to do it - at home or at work or.....



the pig oinked at 9:18 AM
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Thursday, April 27, 2006 * (96) hot schools...

Both Laogong and I are Catholics. Naturally, we sent our children to our alma maters which are primary Catholic schools, secondary Catholic schools and of course, the Catholic Junior College.

Yes, Laogong and I studied in Catholic Junior College. Yes, we were from the same batch ~ Class of 1977. Yes, we were from the same tutorial group ~ 1S4/2S4. No, we were not dating then! We were well-behaved college students who studied in the library during our free periods. We
went straight home after class. We did not know where Orchard Road was. We had no life! IN VERITATE ET CARITATE aka IN TRUTH AND LOVE aka CJC's motto! Hahaha...

Ok, I had better not digress any further and risk all the skeletons in my closet being dug out. Do you know that there are many non-Catholic parents who, by hook or by crook, will enrol their kids in Catholic schools? I had always wondered why until...

A mum and dad were worried. Their son was doing badly for all his subjects. He simply did not want to learn anything at the school he was in. So they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After his first day at the Catholic school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut.

Mum and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year, the son brings home his report book and gives it to his mum and dad. Looking at it, they see he has obtained an A* for every subject.

Mum and dad are very happy. They ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning?"

The son looked at mum and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the 'plus' sign at the front of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."


the pig oinked at 4:28 AM
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Thursday, April 20, 2006 * (95) exam fever...

The mid-year exams are just round the corner. Are you mugging? Have you cut down on computer gaming? Are you watching less tv programmes? I'm sure you are spending more time on revision? I certainly hope that none of you would have to resort to something like this...

One day, the teacher was giving an important test to his students. He handed out the test papers and went back to his table to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed in their papers. The teacher noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 note to his test paper with a note saying "A dollar per mark."

The next day the teacher handed the test papers back. This student got back his test paper and $51 change.


the pig oinked at 12:38 PM
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Monday, April 17, 2006 * (94) a blessed easter...

EASTER commemorates the Resurrection of Christ but most of the time, we hear people exchanging greetings of 'Happy Easter'. Yes, as with Christmas, Easter has been taken over by commercialism. The irony is that Easter was a originally a pagan festival whereby the ancient Saxons celebrated the return of spring with an uproarious festival commemorating EASTRE, their goddess of spring and offspring.

Ions ago, the Christians tried to convert the pagan Saxons but the Saxons were simply not interested. Being a 'sneaky' bunch, the Christians tried to win over them by fiddling around with their own sacred days until they coincided with a pagan festival. As it happened, the festival of Eastre occurred at the same time of year as the Christian observance of the Resurrection of Christ. So, as converts were slowly won over, the pagan festival was gradually altered to make it a Christian celebration. Eventually, the name 'EASTRE' was changed to its modern spelling 'EASTER'.

The festival of Eastre was celebrated on the vernal equinox, the first day of spring. The goddess, Eastre, was said to take the form of a hare, so effigies of this animal were made to worship her. This, of course, is the origin of the good old Easter bunny.

So what about those Easter eggs? Well, the egg has been the symbol of rebirth since ancient times. The Egyptians and Greeks would bury eggs in the tombs of the dead as a sign of resurrection. The egg was especially important in the Eastre festival as a symbol of nature being reborn over again. Therefore, real eggs would be decorated and given as gifts on this day.


Do you know that Easter never occurs before March 22 or after April 25?
1950 April 9 1967 March 26 1984 April 222001 April 21
1951 March 251968 April 141985 April 72002 March 31
1952 April 131969 April 61986 March 302003 April 20
1953 April 51970 March 291987 April 192004 April 11
1954 April 181971 April 111988 April 32005 March 27
1955 April 101972 April 21989 March 262006 April 16
1956 April 11973 April 221990 April 152007 April 7
1957 April 211974 April 141991 March 312008 March 23
1958 April 61975 March 301992 April 192009 April 12
1959 March 291976 April 181993 April 112010 April 4
1960 April 171977 April 101994 April 32011 April 24
1961 April 21978 March 261995 April 162012 April 8
1962 April 221979 April 151996 April 72013 March 31
1963 April 141980 April 61997 March 302014 April 20
1964 March 291981 April 191998 April 122015 April 5
1965 April 181982 April 111999 April 42016 March 27
1966 April 101983 April 32000 April 232017 April 15



the pig oinked at 1:58 PM
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Sunday, April 16, 2006 * (93) i hate singnet...

HATE ~ an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity or antipathy for a person, thing or phenomenon and/or a desire to avoid, restrict, remove or destroy it.

When Laogong upgraded our plan last month from 512kbps to 3500kbps, singnet told him our new username was x@singnet when it should be x@singnet3500. We only found out a few days ago the correct username. No wonder there was no much improvement in our speed despite the upgrade. @%$+*(^#~@)&^

Singnet does not support aztech ADSL600EW modems. Yet, printed on the box of this modem were these words: 'Singnet Approved'. And we only found when Laogong called singnet as we kept losing internet connection intermittently after the upgrade. To give the singnet technical officer some credit, he did help Laogong out. But the problem was finally rectified after we went to aztech to download the firmware. My question to singnet: if you don't support something, why approve it in the first place? @%$+*(^#~@)&^

But the straw that broke the camel's back???

I could not get any connection this morning (my nephew, also a singnet customer, couldn't either). Laogong was at work, so for the first time in my life, I had to call the singnet helpline. I was put on hold for a very very long long time before I got to speak to a technical officer. Halfway through the tedious steps, I got cut off! Though I am the so-called complaint queen, I had been very polite and did not vent my frustrations on him. Most importantly, I was able to carry out CORRECTLY all the instructions he was giving. So did the singnet guy cut me off on purpose?

Never mind. I switched off the modem and then switched it on again for the upmteen time. I rebooted my computer again for the umpteem time. Still no connection. I dialled the singnet helpline again. I was put on hold for a very very long long time again. This time, it was a female technical officer. After all the same formalities of identifying the username etc etc, she too asked what modem I was using. When she heard it was an aztech modem DSL600EW, immediately she told me exactly what singnet told Laogong before ~ that singnet does not support this modem.

So I blew my top. So I gave her a piece of my mind. Afterall, the first technical officer continued guiding me through the steps even though he knew what modem I was using! While I was contributing my 2-cents worth to the singnet lady, she kept telling me that I was not connected. During this time, I was still clicking away at my computer. Suddenly, I realized that I was finally connected AND could surf. Earlier, I was unable to surf even after I had managed to get a connection.

Moral of the story:
When my broadband contract expires, I will switch to a new service provider. PERIOD.


the pig oinked at 2:58 AM
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Thursday, April 13, 2006 * (92) holy week...

During this week, Christians commemorate the suffering and death
of Jesus through various observances and services of worship.
It is also
the week which leads up to the joyful celebrations on Easter Sunday.
And on this note, I want to share a poem with you...

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

'So you would like to interview me?' God asked.

'If you have the time' I said.

God smiled. 'My time is eternity.'
'What questions do you have in mind for me?'

'What surprises you most about humankind?'

God answered...
'That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.'

'That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.'

'That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither the present nor the future.'

'That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.'

God's hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
'As a parent, what are some of life's lessons
you want your children to learn?'

'To learn they cannot make anyone love them.
All they can do
is let themselves be loved.'

'To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.'

'To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.'

'To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.'

'To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.'

'To learn that there are people who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.'

'To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.'

'To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must
also forgive themselves.'

'Thank you for your time,' I said humbly.

'Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?'

God smiled and said,
'Just know that I am here... always.'

-author unknown

The Interview With God


the pig oinked at 2:48 PM
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Saturday, April 08, 2006 * (91) from boys to men...

BMTC SCHOOL 2 * NINJA COMPANY * PLATOON 4 * SECTION 2

Today marks the beginning of a 2-year military life for Ben. National Service ~ the call of duty beckons every 18-year old Singaporean male.

Well, Ben's secondary school years with SJI's NCC Air Unit and his post as the ACSM and should stand him in good stead.

ALL THE BEST, SON!


the pig oinked at 8:08 AM
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Tuesday, April 04, 2006 * (90) sex education...

Do you know that many non-living things have gender?

- A web page is female because it's always getting hit on.

- A tyre is male because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

- A bath sponge is female because it's soft, squeezable and retains water.

- The MRT train is male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

- An hourglass is female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.


the pig oinked at 8:38 AM
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Sunday, April 02, 2006 * (89) april fool?

It's 3pm.
Emily and Jon are still sleeping.
An afternoon siesta?
NO!!
They didn't get up for breakfast.
They couldn't wake up for lunch.
I was still trying to wake them up just now.
I'm not kidding.
Judith has lost her spot in the Piggy World of Records.
A new 'piggy' record has been set!


the pig oinked at 7:08 AM
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Saturday, April 01, 2006 * (88) lent, a time for self-reflection...

Isn't it strange how a $50 note seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping?

Isn't it strange how 1.5 hours seem so long when you're at church, and how short they seem when you're watching a good movie?

Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you're praying, but you have no trouble thinking what to talk about with a friend?

Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a popular novel like a Harry Potter book?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row tickets to concerts or games, but they do whatever is possible to sit at the last row in church?

Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can include it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?

Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn a fact about God and share it with others, but how easy it is to learn, understand, extend and repeat gossip?

Isn't it strange how we believe everything that magazines and newspapers say, but we question the words in the Bible?

Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven, but they don't want to believe, do or say anything to get there?

Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away, but when we are going to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?

IT IS STRANGE, ISN'T IT?


the pig oinked at 3:58 PM
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the pig

Big-Mama's Chinese Zodiac ~ PIG!
Laogong's Chinese Zodiac ~ PIG!



Mum of 4 Teenagers
Undergoing Middle-age Crisis
Battling an Ever-increasing Waistline
& a Headful of Snow-white Hair
Holding 3 Ministerial Posts
Home Affairs Minister aka Full-Time Nagger
Finance Minister ~ manages weekly allowances & exorbitant hp bills
Transport Minister aka 24/7 Chauffeur


the pig's notes


the pig's piglets

judith
benedict
emily
jonathan

the pig's other piglets

darren
darrick
bernadette
brenda
bryan
bosco
brendan
ignatius
brigitte
gabriel

fave pigtales

(7) why god created children...
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(18) are you a computer addict?
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(71) mothers know best...
(74) count your blessings...
(92) holy week...
(101) a happy day...
(121) who's who?
(142) happy halloween and...
(175) n#gger...

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