Wednesday, May 30, 2007
*
(179) i am woman, hear me snore...
Whenever Laogong is out-station, I sometimes bunked in with the girls. It is not because I'm concerned with saving the earth but more of me being a thrifty person.
Emily whined and complained. She didn't like me in her room. She even recorded my snores the other night. When I picked her and BTG after class, they kept replaying the recording in the car and laughed at me. Doesn't she know that snoring is just noisy breathing through the mouth or nose during sleep? >.<
A study shows that children with at least one parent who snores are 3X more likely to snore themselves than kids whose mums or dads are silent sleepers. Well, she is 6X more likely to snore cos both Laogong and I snore!
Nah... I'm not promoting these drinks, I just find their ads really funny! Nope, I haven't tried either of the drinks yet. I will wait till somebody buys one or the other, then I'll just take a little sip cos canned drinks are always loaded with sugar. Anyway, whatever (pun intended) these drinks are, their ads tickled my memory about something equally confounding....
Once upon a time, there were four people... Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody.
Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place.
POSITION: Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mum, Mummy, Ma, Mama
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellentcommunication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required,including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends andendless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses notreimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at leasttemporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tonguerepeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 90 km/h in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such assmall gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half millioncheap, plastic toys, and battery-operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on acontinually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. Aballoon payment is due when they turn 21 because of the assumptionthat college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuitionreimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
Ben, who is very passionate about paintball, got his siblings and cousin to play one day. Jon and Iggy like it so much that they joined him when he played in JB last month.
Ben has been trying to get Laogong and I to play too! Sadly, our spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! LOL, the only paintball game whereby we may just outlast these young'uns is this!
Big-Mama's Chinese Zodiac ~ PIG!
Laogong's Chinese Zodiac ~ PIG!
Mum of 4 Teenagers
Undergoing Middle-age Crisis
Battling an Ever-increasing Waistline
& a Headful of Snow-white Hair
Holding 3 Ministerial Posts
Home Affairs Minister aka Full-Time Nagger
Finance Minister ~ manages weekly allowances & exorbitant hp bills
Transport Minister aka 24/7 Chauffeur
Whenever Laogong is out-station, I sometimes bunked in with the girls. It is not because I'm concerned with saving the earth but more of me being a thrifty person.
Ben, who is very passionate about paintball, got his siblings and cousin to play one day. Jon and Iggy like it so much that they joined him when he played in JB last month.
