Monday, May 19, 2008
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(232) happy vesak day?
Brendan Mayle Kor Chong Li's birthday falls on Vesak Day this year. But he is sad because his mum is in China and it is his first birthday with no cake and no party. So what does he do? At 10pm, he rings big-mama to ask if he can sleep over.
At the magic hour, Emily surprised Brendan Mayle Kor Chong Li with an ice-cream, topped with a solitary PINK candle. Big-mama then presented him with an angpow and Laogong, Ben, Jon and Bosco (his brother who slept over too) boosted his spirits with the birthday song!
So Brendan Mayle Kor Chong Li is a happy boy once more!
(Look at him... gripping so tightly onto his angpow!)
the pig oinked at
12:18 AM
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
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(231) mother's day message...
Whilst in the car today, Jon asked me what my purpose in life is. Maybe he asked because it is Mother's Day. I replied that I'm here to teach/guide my children to be good, kind, responsible, blah, blah, blah, blah (good stuff only) persons. But unfortunately, I'm at it so much that they think I'm a nagger. And on this special day, I have something really enlightening for all kids out there ....
Rule 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it.
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault. Don't whine about your mistakes - learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how 'cool' you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try 'delousing' the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffeeshop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
CREDITS: Charles J. Sykes, author of the book 'Dumbing Down Our Kids'
the pig oinked at
11:38 PM
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Thursday, May 01, 2008
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(230) labour day...
To commemorate Labour Day 2008, a new office policy will be implemented. Kindly adhere to the policy when you report for work on 02 May 2008.
Dress Code:
You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
* If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
* If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
* If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
the pig oinked at
3:28 PM
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